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Pshaw! There's only one Defender, and it's an arcade game where you're piloting a plane that's going in a different direction than the joystick faces and you constantly crash in to things!

"I was in Return of the Jedi! I'm Anakin!"
"Uh-huh. I don't recognize you. He had no hair and burn scars and was ashen."
"Well, they cut the part where I looked like me."
"Yeah, okay. I was a taun-taun, but you just can't tell. Shut it, old liar man."

How'd it get burned?

Jar Jar is Keyser Soze!

I also wanted your comment to be a realistic, down-to-earth joke that's completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots.

Well, yes, I'm presuming two things, of course: that it's not art, and that it's intended for the male consumer audience,

But, I already got a sitter*!

You may have noticed the pianos showing up in the movie theaters, as well…

Not having looked at it yet - Within You Without You was the first thing that popped in to my head as fitting nicely with Obi-Wan explaining the Force. Don't know if that's where it is, of course, but that'd fit well.

The Internet, heh ha… finds a way.

"Here is your money. Now, please get in the cannon… Hey! Awwww…"

He's such an absolutely perfect case-study of how money can (not, of course, necessarily "does") ruin movies.

Legend of Slacker Fellow

Gosh, that accent makes everything sound so sophisticated.

I was working part-time at a pretty decent bar, and traveling as a stand-up comedian. Dating a super-cool girl (how cool? she was friends with Yo La Tengo cool).

Now do "Classical Gas"!

No, but they get a keg of beer for their brainstorming sessions.

The Newswire is coming from inside the site!!

"Little Red Corvette('s Don't Grow On Trees, You Know)"