Somewhere, a gossipy scientist is super pissed.

Whoever it was is surrounded by that sort of insane, hyperbolic certainty all day, in their defense.

"AV Club. Ah, yes, I may have a, heh, passing familiarity. You know, my first comment ever there got 76 upvotes. First comment. 76. Just… right out of the gate. I remember it well; it seemed that Katy Perry had— hey, where are you going?"

"Batman! Someone stole a thing! And we need to get it back!"

Or when he just hit the same note, at varying mid-tempo, for about 4 minutes.

Hippie

It's their way of saying "Hey, we're good, right?" over the comment platform change. Then, as soon as we're not looking, rolling their eyes and mouthing 'fucking crybabies.'

Host of The Late Snow.

Time to freak out about the new-new comments format!

Choose a television that, with benefit of hindsight, wasn't all that fucking big.

The best part is when a journalist tried to softball/backtrack out for him: "So, when you say that, you mean his policies have created an environment in which that radicalism can flourish?" "No, I mean he actually founded ISIS." "Okey-dokey, then."

*Gasp* You don't think it's The Queen?!

Same with Anvil!. I mean, you can think they're not the brightest, but if you don't feel affection for them, and can just laugh at them as a "real life Spinal Tap" something's gone cold in you.

If there's any justice, he pronounces the title "the doon-dee proh-ject " and refuses to entertain any corrections to his pronunciation.

Oh, that's right. Weird how my brain keeps deleting that little tidbit.

I don't believe in prayer, but I know Biden does; so I'm praying he runs.

"Can you tell us a little more about this Holy Diver Inc you're claiming as a write-off?"
"It was a start-up business primarily focused on a riding tigers and giving people measured exposure to midnight seas."

The paranoia fits, but there's too much hate. Maybe meth?

What's not shown in that scene is the monkeys laughing for 45 minutes and repeating "blurst" to each other.

I like to stay natural, so I take melatonin. Then, after it does nothing, I wash a benadryl down with vodka. Because I care about my body.