Does your grocery store not have signage, often hanging from the ceiling, at either end of each aisle with a brief description of what is available in that aisle? Try looking up.

This needs to be a t-shirt and in my wardrobe. Also one of Lincoln.

For a good time, click

Woah! Woah! Woah, dude! Looks like somebody is fishing for a Red Bull sponsorship.

Fun fact: sunsets tend to be “prettier” with more colors than sunrises because more crap was made airborne over the coarse of the day. That airborne crap diffracts sunlight and yields more colors. Overnight, much of that particulate matter settles back to the ground and sunrises tend not to have the same qualities.

Are we now treating “buried at sea” as a euphemistic way of saying “dumping the body”?

I think most historians would say you don’t learn shit about history from a statue or monument outside of antiquity. Sure, statues that have survived hundreds and thousands of years have historical value, fill in gaps in the written record and illustrate who and what was valued at the time. Something put up in the…

SS protection for former presidents extends only to spouses and immediate family members under the age of 16. Javanka, Uday and Qusay are exempt. Barron will lose it on his 16th birthday in March 2021, which would be just two months after the next president is inaugurated in January 2021. I don’t know about widows.

Breaking News: President Trump suffers heart attack followed by stroke followed by rapid onset of type 1, 2, and newly discovered type 3 diabetes.

It’s a portmanteau of “java” and “sanka”. It’s not good enough to be considered decent drip coffee, but it’s a shade better than Sanka decaffeinated instant. Order one at Starbucks and the barista will just empty the contents of the drip catcher into a cup and top it off with some instant creamer.

Cop level stupid

Just wait ‘til Trump responds with his own volley of fire and fury propaganda video he made on his phone while sitting on his toilet.

That video gave me a flaming Pence.

You buried the lead. I think the headline should be that somebody thinks there are schools in the United States that teach art history.

I wish everything had an optional dark theme.

When your religious leaders are called shepherds of the flock, consequently the members of that religion are the flock... of sheep.

I have to admit I’m midly impressed with the skill the driver was able to maneuver the dangling ATM between the barrier poles.

Woah! Woah! Woah! Let’s not get vicious. That burn is as hot and scathing as my mayonnaise sandwich. Pass me the tums and a glass of water.. that is spicy.

They didn’t kill that woman. Somebody hacked the car. It wasn’t them.