Take a twitter tour and you’ll see lots of these guys came prepared with helmets, batons and body armor ... some of them look a lot like police in riot gear.

You don’t know Chad. Chad needs to go very far away. Chad is a jerk.

I got over this issue when I was a kid. It isn’t that big a deal growing up, even when my first name happens to rhyhme with “molestor” or when my last name could be easily corrupted to “Penis Colada” because I’m latin and Pina Coladas are a latin-theme cocktail, I guess, and kids loved teasing me with it.

Mis amigos norteamericanos, bienvenidos al Venezuela del Norte!

They didn’t receive the tax bill because it was allegedly mailed to the wrong address... for decades. C’mon, we’ve all used this excuse, “Oh... a bill? I didn’t get it in the mail last month!” but I think you’re pressing your luck if you try to use that excuse for more than twenty years... actually, it was thirty…

I just finished reading Battle Royale and come to think of it, the book needed more coal.

“I own an ice cream truck service and need a new location to park my fleet overnight. I have them on the road by 7 am and we usually park them for the night around 11 pm or midnight. My staff also does weekly maintenance on Mondays and Thursdays. What would you be charging for 60 parking spots?”

When can we squeeze in Mad Max cosplay night?

Cheese fight? We’ll find out if sharp cheddar is sharp enough to gut a man.

I can see the quotes now:
“Justin Trudeau is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic and that cocksucker Teresa May keeps trying to suck her own cock! That paranoid prick threw away the card I had cabinet members sign for her birthday and pocketed the $50 bill I slipped inside. They’re trying to cock-block Trump from the…

I could have sworn it was an hour. Then again, there are a great many other things I could have sworn were true not so long ago that have come under doubt. Oh well!

I’m pretty sure the window to edit was an hour long. I guess they’ve shortened it. Dumb Kinja. Dumb.

Grr.... it hasn’t even been half an hour and I can’t edit my post to correct my typo.

“This is not a presidency” Trump declares while sitting in the Ocal Office.

1pm is too early to stop drinking.

Look at me directly in my forehead, and tell me that line didn’t make you at least smirk.

Recent American history has been mostly self inflicted wounds. Trump has taken it to a meta/post modern level: Trump is a wound Americans inflicted on themselves who inflicts harm on himself in ways and numbers not seen before.

Remember when those black teenaged girls dressed like sluts, disrespected the White House and all of America with their classless attitude and trampy fashion and were advised to “rise to the occasion and act like being in the White House matters to you”. Those selfish black teenagers! I’m so relieved we have an…

So when Trump says, “don’t investigate my finances, my family’s finances or my business finances” to investigators, it’s like Jeffrey Dahmer telling police with a search warrant for his house to, “sure, take a look around. Just don’t look in the fridge or freezer.. nothing to see there. Nothing at all. Don’t look.”