This is what I come to Deadspin for. And the bears. The cow with the soccer ball, too.

Yes, I did mean that as a compliment (to you, not to sex offenders or the Miami Heat fan guy or Guiliani’s buddy or whatever the fuck he is).

It's not easy to insult sex offenders, but you've done it. 

... while Ramsey, of course, is a sweet, easy-going fellow who looks for the good in everyone and just wants to be your friend.

“Hopefully the director has learned that it’s never a great idea to put an 80-year-old guy on TV to talk about anything.”

Those scenes must of been so much fun for the actors.

Who designed that courthouse? Walt Disney?

It would simplify this whole issue if the USOC merged with the NCAA. Then there would be just one venal amateur-athletic racket to take out into the desert and drop in a hole.

Not in a totalitarian state. Her "options" are whatever the state says they are.

Too bad “Fireball” was already taken.

They’re jerking around a guy who bought his mother a Ferrari? That kind of brand loyalty deserves a gift basket or a lifetime of free oil changes, not a damn lawsuit.

Davy wouldn’t have taken any shit from a creep like Bud Adams, though.

That’s right! And you know how they had like at least half-dozen episodes that involved characters who strongly resembled Trump? You could combine those two plots, and the shocking twist would be, even though the Trump-type character is a billionaire, he’s having trouble impregnating the world because the only women…

Speaking of the worst people currently blighting the Earth, how do you rank:

Wtf does that even mean?

Give Mitch McConnell enough money and the Senate will pass a bill making it mandatory to answer robocalls and illegal to hang up on them.

I can’t decide: Does Manfred seem to be the dumbest commissioner in the history just because he’s here now, right in front of us, doing stupid things? Or is he, in fact, defying all odds and probabilities, actually dumber than, say, Bud Selig or Peter Urbernoth or Uberfroth or whoever he was or even Bowie Kuhn? Except…

Can’t believe no one has mentioned Bruce Willis. SJP made “Striking Distance” with him, released in 1993. Lousy movie, don’t bother.

Getting a little off-topic here, but for some reason your comment brought this to mind this altogether unrelated 60's classic.

Yeah, it was. I loved "It's a Gas," although I think my parents took it as another sign that there was something wrong with me.