@WashingtonForeskins: Who Dat nation showed their first signs of life after signing a rumored hooker-bitten quarterback and chanted "Breesus Tryst?"

Time to see if the A's lesser known duo still lives up to their name, "The Bail Your Sorry Ass Out of Jail Brothers."

@Fallopian Tubing: Smoke meth this way you don't fall asleep.

@YinkaDoubleDare: Disco Choo and

@Murray Hewitt: I'm a fan of trustworthiness, wit and intellect. Also, badassery, which is open to interpretation.

@Sheed's Bald Spot: I'm a Crazy Horse man, myself. I was told it can put hair on your eyeballs, whatever the hell that means.

@UweBollocks: Great topic. My favorite one thus far was "More like can I borrow a username and password." I'd like to go out in similar fashion, handle related you know.

@Murray Hewitt: Penny and Brain don't rank near the top of contenders, but c'mon neither does Penfold. I'd sooner take Scrappy Doo and Linus' blanket.

@Beamrider: Once on vacation in Phoenix, as a kid, I met Kevin Johnson while eating at

@shmendo: When Barkley backs off you know someone is messed up. I just went with LT as the sidekick based on being the outside linebacker of the two.

@Murray Hewitt: Hmm, do Penny and Brain count as a sidekick duo? They kept Inspector Gadget alive and thwarted Claw consistently. Penfold can't handle that type of IQ.

@vodkanaut: Johnny Hooker sees nothing wrong with that fragment. In fact, that guy could swindle with sentence fragments and last late in such a battle as this speaking only in fragments.

@shmendo: Hagen is as cool as they come. But his demeanor could backfire. I'm going to have to toss Lawrence Taylor in here as the sidekick of Harry Carson. He smokes cracks, goes nuts, isn't afraid to hit women (I assume). LT could make a run at this.

@vodkanaut: That's the type of answer we can get behind. Mercutio may fare better in a battle royal. He doesn't have to focus and be the focal point of one enemy. He could go apeshit on people.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: Valid point, but would we be forced to consider RED-HEADED-STEPCHILD sidekick to THE MENTALIST! ? He's swifter than a ninja.

@vodkanaut: I had a similar problem in picking which version of Joe Pesci would fight. But maybe he uses all those sidekick roles as experience and is one gigantically badass Joe Pesci who also leaves the water running. Double trouble!

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: I bet Dwight Schrute could take down any and all zombies. His jack-of-all-bizarre-trades persona has to make him a contender.

@gulag: Let us not forget Keith Richards. Is he even capable of dying?

@Julian Vargas: Stimpy would get stomped. I think he goes down really fast. The first two out? Robin and Waylon Smithers, who become infatuated with one another.

@PolkPanther: Chewbacca is a good contender, raw strength, but I bet something shiny would distract him, a la 3-CPO getting mangled. No way it's open and shut. Don't discount Artie Lange giving everyone AIDS either. He's not going to win, but he'll contribute to a few deaths.