I actually had a pizza in Chicago that was baked in a bowl. They made it like a pot pie, with the cheese and sauce and whole mushrooms in the bowl and the crust over top, then turned over at the table to serve.

“That would be a puddle of cheese, and we don’t do that” is one of the single most perfect server quotes we’ve ever had here.

That’s... actually a really good explanation, that I didn’t even think of. There was a really good Tex-Mex joint in Houston that used white cheddar, and it usually had strips of the peppers in it. It was so good.

“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”

PINKHAM’S LAW!!! DING DING DING! We have a winner!

And that mandatory cheese was on TUNA, at that. TUNA.

A classic:

My mom did it in the toilet bowl once. By urinating on a bowl full of bleach. She sat down, started to feel ‘bad tingling’ after a few seconds, and luckily was aware enough after the fact to flush quickly and run the overhead fan.

EVERYTHING!!!!! This post had EVERYTHINGGGG!!!!!!!!

This is excellent kinja.

I am realizing I’m probably someone else’s abjectly terrible restaurant employee story.

We gays only see movement. When straights stand still they become invisible. Also we don't have object permanence.

I also like: the “cooOoOOoooky youth pastor that was totally down and hip to our jive and cooly fresh yo, and understood our young feels, and, “...word, dog. I get you. I GET you, and Jesus gets you. Isn’t that so dope and slammin’? Let’s pray.””

Godammit, Jacob.

lye. the answer at that point is always lye. and maybe a blender

Does it have onions? I can’t eat spicy soup.

The Subway trainee sounds like she has a bright career ahead of her in adult films if the sandwich gig doesn’t work out.

My first job was at a restaurant where all the employees were kids from my high school. I was the dishwasher. We still employed the three sink system, meaning I was adequately shackled with the proper “Work is Hard and It Sucks, But Goldurnit it Was Much Harder In MY DAY” attitude that has helped me successfully and…