So can the View die now? Please?

I used to take Gary Larson’s pizza orders!

I don’t know how Carly has not killed multiple times. Your husband’s magazine???? MOTHERFUCKER I WILL END YOU.

When I managed a Borders we were also responsible for this small calendar kiosk on the other side of the shopping center. I was there covering someone’s lunch break and this crazed woman came over demanding why we had no bichon frise calendars. The dog calendar people were always the weirdest.

I was having a fantastic Saturday, until a friend stopped by earlier. She asked if she could make herself a sandwich for lunch. Sure, no problem. We eat each other’s food all the time. After a few minutes, I went into the kitchen to grab myself something, too. She was making a peanut butter and butter sandwich. No…

*rubs eyes* Weekend BCO? WEEKEND BCO!!!

Kalliope Jones, teenage girl band signs lucrative record deal. Titles first album, ‘IDGAF’, releases first single, titled ‘I don’t care what your boner thinks’.

I blame the internet. All these people are online sticking to sites filled with people who think like them and agree with them rather than having to deal to with people with different opinions from them offline alone. And thus adapting to them. So, they are forever getting feedback from online people going, “Yes, you…

My wife loves the place where I get my haircut (a manly place not unlike this one). Lots of wood, comfortable chairs, drinks, etc. They have happy hours a few times a month we go to. I’m sure if they offer women’s cuts there she’d do it. I don’t know that they’d refuse her though if she tried to get it done.

That number isn’t a 1, it’s a one!

“If Russell Brand let himself go.”

“the couch scene in Titanic but with a silverback gorilla instead of Kate Winslet.”

Draw me like one of your French girls.

Furiously refreshing until I finally saw BCO.

Is David Yurman okay?

100 combo meals at McDonald’s? Really. Jesus, if you’ve got 100 drunk people to feed, order pizzas like a normal person.