We’re coming home along the Thruway and decide to stop at McD’s. There’s a woman and smallish kid in front of us getting huffy and I can tell this won’t end well. And in due time she starts yelling at the cashier, “Why is everything more expensive here? This is ridiculous! You’re ripping people off!” and so on, as the…

This entitled housewife looks back at her impressionable child and calmly says “She is yelling because that girl deserves it, the service is terrible every time we come here.” And then she looked me straight in the eyes.

Ha, ha. It was a starting point for him.

Guess why I used a picture of salad for it. Guess.

My friend refused to let her mother teach her how to cook a few things when she was a teenager because “feminism” and not wanting to “cook for a man” (ignoring the fact that it might be a good idea to learn how to “cook for herself”?) and all sorts of dumb shit. She fully admitted at 28 years old that was super dumb…

If at any age above 10 i had asked my mom to leave the house specifically to buy me a snack she’d have melted my face with her scorn. Now i’m almost 30 and not a murderer. Thanks mom.

Yeah my kid’s 5 and she can get her own snacks out the fridge, start a shower and put lotion on her own knees and elbows. The other day a woman cried as she told me she was sad about her 6 year old wanting to bathe himself. Alright, lady. Call me in 24 years when he sends you to the store for a soda.

Indeed. I’m going to be honest and say that I’ve fucked up a good few times in my life and have had to ask my parents for help a good few times, which I’m incredibly lucky to have been able to do - I’m ashamed, but I’m grateful. But the only time my mother has made me a sandwich since I was about 9 was when I had mono…

Word. When my then 8 year old son asked me to make him a sandwich, my response was: “Come over here for a minute and let me show you how to make one”. I wanted my son to be independent, not 30 and asking me to do the difficult task of getting out bread and a slice of meat and cheese.

lololol TRUE

Somehow the most horrifying thing here is that a 30 year old man told his mother to go to the store to get him a sandwich and a soda - AND SHE DID IT.

oh my gahd. My heart just grew three sizes. My kid is getting a grasp on things like this and I’m going to steal this. So sweet.

My daughter and I do this necklace thing: I love you more that the stars in the sky, the salt in the ocean, etc. The other day she said that she loved me more than all the eyelashes in the world so maybe that’s what written on the back side of the pendant.

Is pistachio a rare flavour in the US? Here in Belgium I’ve never even seen an ice cream vendor that didn’t have pistachio.

Smoke from a tire fire will also keep mosquitoes away. Has nothing to do with the tires. Mosquitoes don’t like smoke.

There was only one time I ever would’ve straight refused to get a customer what they ordered, and that time was the legendary day when one restaurant I was working at had “French Onion Cheddar” as the soup of the day. It was literally onion soup with nacho cheese in it. At the morning lineup, I was the only server…

God, that last one is like a Monty Python sketch. It’s ex-ice cream! It’s ice cream pining for the fjords!