:(

You're a better person than me. I cracked open a bottle of rose at 3:42pm EST. Fuck this week, indeed

Haha. Ew.

YSL concealer for the win! Except these days because I asked a lawyer colleague what she used since she looked beautiful and awake despite her crushing schedule. I bought it once — once! — and almost cried when it was gone because, alas, I do not pull in $550 an hour.

No, they cannot be “picked out”. They can’t be on just “half the pizza”. Having said that, I’m like a microsurgeon when it comes to taking them off a frozen pizza before it goes in the oven. That is sometimes doable in a pizza 911 emergency.

RIGHT?!!? Same goes with people who serve things with red pepper sauce or whatever the hell. I can’t eat sweet peppers. Period.

Hmmmm, I don’t know that one. I’ll have to check the Google. Do I want to? Will I have nightmares?

I felt sorry for him for about 30 seconds and then went, no. Most families extend hospitality to their kids’ partners during the relationship and often afterwards, but in this case, I don’t know. If they still hung out and kept in touch with him you would think he’d do the right thing and tell them he was in a bind,…

Yeah, no. It doesn’t justify the violation of taking a garden variety B&E to a much MUCH creepier level. Those women will never feel 100% safe in their homes again.

Same.

Oh god what if they got stranded on the way to pick up their order and her friend froze to death and she had to choose between Breaking Veg and eating her dead friend in order to survive or sticking with her values and succumbing to the sweet cushion of a deep snowdrift? What about THAT?

Well obviously you have to move out, unless you're not 18 and then I'm pretty sure you have a strong case to become a ward of the Court.

I like to eat peanut butter in the privacy of my own home but get seriously gaggy if anyone around me eats it. Oh god. The smell.

“... you can count on her to grind it out and get the job done.”

DYING.

Fuck off, I'm full.

An actual LOL from me on the “How about a wafer thin mint?” Thank you.

My ex — I nicknamed him “The Incinerator” — cooked these venison steaks on a camping trip several years ago, prompting one of our friends to remark, “Eeechhhhh!! They look like Rene Levesque’s lungs.”

My ex — I nicknamed him “The Incinerator” — cooked these venison steaks on a camping trip several years ago, prompting one of our friends to remark, “Eeechhhh!! They look like Rene Levesque’s lungs.”

Exactly. But we call it Whole Paycheque because Canada.