To be honest, I'd go with mockery as a retort. Anything vaguely snarky would have the waiting staff in stitches.

I’ve heard (never been there myself) that the French Laundry is pretty good like this. But as you say, it starts with telling the staff this is not a place you normally go out to. They probably figured that out already, but I guess it helps having everyone on the same page.

All interesting, but today’s soccer news is only about one thing - Jerome Valke being suspended by Fifa.

- “Just act like you’re supposed to be there.”

I guess at the same time he’ll defend his buddy Floyd from his obviously illegal pre-fight I.V. despite the NSAC rules specifically forbiddi... sorry this is the NSAC, who fucking cares what the rules actually say.

He swallows 12c as a kid and now he's a crazed Brady fanboy?

According to Chip, his system is elite.

“Is he a elite QB?”, ranked:

Might as well start JJ Watt at this point

I knew it! I was totally right, thank you for so clearly womansplaining it to my fellow menfolk

I’m all about pragmatism - tons of situations demand white lies, this is not one of them. the right move here is getting your risk and guilt free Chipotle permission slip, which is perfectly easily obtainable too.

Outstanding work

Cutting out the excess white lies is generally salubrious. This is an opportunity to do so.

Classic noob error. It isn’t a risk at all (being busted pitching the meal or cheating at Chipotle, that’s your risk). I would bet a Chipotle meal that the wife here would be perfectly happy to not have to pack the lunch once a week.

Coughlin: How many digits do you have?

I can help, Brian. Just tell your missus tonight when you see her that every so often you want to go to Chipotle with your colleagues, and you’ll let her know when so she doesn’t have to pack you lunch on those days. She’ll not only be totally fine, she is probably thinking right now, “You know it would be nice to not…

As I understood it, the more the Titans worked out Mariota, the more they liked him, and by the time the draft came around there was no price at which they’d trade away their pick.

First they came for online poker,

Funny you should mention that, a congressman is raising that very question as we type.

i bet he eats his pizza with a knife and fork