- “While your idiot sports friends argue on the internet about something petty, you need to chill.”

To be fair, they paid I think 15 million pounds for him - which in this day and age in the EPL, for a guy with obvious talent, is chicken-feed.

Hey guys, look, I figured out how to use to do a mirror image. I think this is the one-handed blonde’s better side.

if only Brazil had a bit more coastline and a famous river supplying kajillions of gallons of freshwater. If only they had alternatives to Rio’s biggest toilet to hold water sport events

Maybe Rex is done with EJ Manuel.

Sure, you were joking but I wasn’t. I definitely buy that.

Brady looks deflated. Any ideas why?

“Avoid making a major purchase on impulse”

It leaves you pretty mortified the first time it happens. But then you laugh about it, and when it turns out your son says it every time you go to the toilet, and no amount of “use your inside voice” will stop him, you start trying to figure out how to have fun with it.

Exactly. One reason to synchro-pee is that it's easier to watch the little dudes. It doesn't come without its own risks, but there's much less chance they go missing. I'll take that trade any day.

You might be confusing Bad Kinja with Bad Parenting.

I’m intrigued as to what is bad. Is it:

When I bring my little boy to the toilet, we usually double-team the pee. And my 4yo son, god bless him, gives perfect play-by-play commentary. The first time he yells out, DADDY, YOU HAVE A REALLY BIG PEE-PEE, THAT’S AMAZING, you freak the hell out. But I’m well past that now and in fact trying to work out if there’s…

Is Joe Flacco an elite quarterback?

How much do the Browns suck? On the day that Drew publishes WYTS 2015 for the Browns, it's the second funniest suck-worthy story of the day.

I tell you all, in a fight between a chortle-back and a lying-babbler, the lying-babbler always wins. Jesus Smith had no chance against, against...Ike Eisenho... oh no, now you guys just fucking with me, that’s not a real name.

Why Your Team Sucker-punches, 2015.

Maybe if footballers stopped faking injuries that would help? #crazyideas

Baffleck: I went to Vegas with the nanny while my wife looked after the kids.

There’s always option 5. Find someone else you know, tell him that “Timmy Lightweight over there is a bit drunk, just keep an eye on him while I go grab [some shit] from outside.”