While I was pregnant, I was so sick. The doctors were concerned because I didn’t put on much weight for the longest time because I just couldn’t keep anything down. One morning, my husband and I decided that Burger King breakfast sounded like a good idea (WHY?!?!) and headed out. We had the longest wait in the…

When I started working at my job, the coffee maker was by the copier and lots of colleagues would ask why I didn’t start a new pot of coffee since I was at the copier. I was second in command of the finance department and yet I was still expected to make coffee when someone else had clearly emptied it because I am…

That was my first thought too, was how quickly is someone going to figure out a way around this law to create chaos in the system. Because that person would be my new hero, pronto!

They are super easy to make too! Take scallop, wrap with bacon, pierce with toothpick to hold bacon in place, sprinkle with brown sugar and pop in the oven. Delicioso!

I have relatives like this as well, who think that how great they feel about giving a gift to someone trumps the feelings of the person receiving said gift.

I had a very close friend for years that would always ask what I wanted to Christmas. Since we don't do the gift exchange in my house, I have always said that I did not want anything. A gift was not important to me. And every year, it was "but I like giving gifts, so I have to give you something". He pulled that …

oh my goodness, you just hit the nail on the head about how she, the giver of bad gifts, feels is more important than how the recipient will feel about the gift itself.

Sweet Jesus, my grandmother had that exact same ceramic Christmas boot that she would put out every year.

The guy whose dick was hanging out of his shorts, he has penisia. He just forgot about his dick being out!

Who boos when the woman says no? And how many people are proposing at shopping malls?!

I am with you there. I can give a speech or teach a class, but if someone thinks its a good idea to have the waiters sing to me at the restaurant, that is the WORST. I hate when the spotlight is put on something that I feel is private. If I wanted to spend my birthday with the entire waitstaff, we would not be sitting…

OMG, I haven't seen GMA one. I would be apocalyptically pissed off.

I proposed to my husband. We had been talking for a while about getting married but we hadn't really felt that push to actually go and get the official papers. We already lived together and had a great life. But we wound up buying rings, almost on a whim, one day because we finally found rings we liked while out…

I know, right?!

I worked at a family dining establishment that offered unlimited meal options back before I was married. I never really had that many shitty customers, but one guy still burns me 12+ years later because he was just the worst.

OMG, I love bad weddings, especially since I'm the cynical crony you will find in the back row, drinking in church on the down low. Some gems I've seen: