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Teddy Atlas Shrugged
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“...also cc’d Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, and the chairs and ranking members of each Senate and House committee that has oversight over the CFPB.”

Appropriate username is appropriate!

How dare you besmirch the good name of the real Foghorn Leghorn.

Drew, please stop insulting (the actual) Foghorn Leghorn.

Delhomme is the second best quarterback the Panthers ever had. I didn’t intend for that to be damning Cam with faint praise or some backhanded compliment. Cam is far better than any quarterback the Bears, Lions, Browns, or Texans (among others, I’m sure) have ever had.

Carolina barbecue is the way it is because Southerners are too lazy to chew.

Listen here libtard...White Christian straight males are the most oppressed group in America. They are even taking away our land in South Africa!

This may be the best description of Charlotte that I have ever read.

I honestly started reading it assuming it was written to the players.

He intentionally mispronounced it as “coochie-catcher” too, and thought it was the most hilarious and clever thing anyone ever thought of.

“It’s at this point you might ask yourself, “Wait, wasn’t Al Capone a criminal kingpin who was extremely guilty of federal tax crimes?” Why, yes, he was. Thanks for pointing that out, Harvard Law professor Alan Dershowitz.”

To complete the analogy, let’s not forget Capone’s raging syphilis. 

They can kick you out of Starbucks for being associated with Donald Trump! They can pull you over for driving while being associated with Donald Trump! People will call the cops on you while you’re in a public place just for being associated with Donald Trump! This is truly the grossest ongoing injustice in America!

You didn’t specify who Jerry wrote that pre-New England note to, so I’m forced to assume it’s Luke Keuchly. 

Biakabutuka. Man, I always remember thinking, “This is going to be his year.” Dude would break out a 50-yard run on one play, and then break his leg on the next play. Dude was more fragile than the leg lamp from A Christmas Story.

Luke Kuechly. Say it loud and there’s music playing. Say it soft and it’s almost like praying. Luke Kuechly. I’ll never stop saying Luke Kuechly.

This is how I imagine Jerry Richardson sexual harrassment days, pre-internet.

Cam has somehow become one of the easiest QBs to root for because I assume that every one of his TDs must have given at least 5 MAGA chuds an aneurysm

This article is all wrong. Under the unified rules, both hands have to be on the mat, fist or palm down, for the fighter to be considered grounded.  Thus, this kick would have been legal even if Williams’ right hand were still on the mat, as his left hand clearly was not.

Yea, but how far can he punt a face?