This is interesting. For years, I never really understood why sitcoms always use the “quick to finish” trope for jokes, but it’s because I didn’t realize that the refractory period was a thing.

“I’ll never talk!”

How would you know it was happening? That guy is off the rails on a good day.

Nunberg’s that gang member who loudly boasts that he’ll “never squeal” and “the cops won’t be able to beat it outta” him, to anyone who’ll listen, shortly before spilling his guts to the booking sergeant (who’d only asked for his name).

That noise you just heard was Nunberg’s lawyers collectively pounding their heads against their desks.

Nunn Flew Over The Trump White House Mess.

That sounds like the kind of thing somebody says before getting slapped.

Don’t take this the wrong way, but your wife sounds difficult.

Similar to the bloody nose I got while trying to bring all of the groceries in from the car in one trip.

“Pfff. That’s nothing.”

Even though I fucking despise Ivanka I can’t blame her for not being a moderating influence on her father. There isn’t a person on the planet who can get the orange idiot piss baby to act like a responsible adult.

I think we’re headed for a scenario with Ivanka and Jared that’s similar to the Simpsons episode where Mr. Burns hides Homer and a couple of other incompetent workers in the basement of the nuclear plant, charged with the super important task of making sure the bee doesn’t escape from its jar, during a suprise…

Easy there — you need to chill, have a Pepsi, and Join the Conversation™!

Woke capitalism — no less exploitative than regular capitalism, but 1000% more embarrassing.

We open on a little girl, black with pigtails, in a Walmart, eyeing a new Avengers play set. A Walmart employee, black, female kneels next to her and looks at the toy set. “Oh, that’s a nice one.” The employee notes. “Think my mom will get it for me?” The girl asks. “Well, maybe if you work really hard and ace your…

You’re looking at this all wrong. Since I, as an american taxpayer, subsidize Walmart, I feel like I can take a lot of the credit for these films’ successes. Congratulations, me. Great job. And great job to all of you taxpayers out there!