Yeah it was inspiring to listen his story last night about the heroic troops who lined up 50 Islamic Terrorists, cut open two pigs, put their bullets in the pig carcasses, sloshed them around, and then used the pig-dipped bullets to shoot all of the terrorists.

Dude, that was in 2004

Actually at :16.5 you can see the car starting to materialize, although you can’t tell if it’s been displaced through time, space, or both

Not to worry, apparently it’ll all be over soon:

NJ calls 2-second rule the minimum for safe following distance, and I’m counting one-one thousand, two-one thousand on several telephone poles, 2 fire hydrants, a jogger, a flag pole, two storm drains, and several parked cars...

Legally speaking, this is the “if not for...” argument - it would be dicey to say that harm would not have occurred “if not for” the fact they were driving a Mercedes. Instead they are saying harm would not have occurred “if not for” the fact that she was trying to post 100 mph on snapchat. Then they go to court to…

Hoooow dumb? Teenager drives 100 mph for the snapchat, gets in a horrific collision, leaves some poor guy with permanent brain injuries. Natural reaction? Better fire off a SNAPCHAT from the ambulance...

Until around 1150 A.D., “teh” was used as an indefinite article, until Illuminati changed it to “the” and now auto-correct programs fight daily to keep us from remembering...

More Rube Goldberg Plus Javascript - the layout and animation of the Goldberg device is one undertaking, coding it all in Javascript is another. I would have been sorely tempted to do it with visual tools like PowerPoint animations, but the whole Goldberg device thing doesn’t come easily

Brilliantly illustrates the absurdity of granting exemptions to law based on “sincerely held religious beliefs.”

I dunno - let me plug in my hoverboard while I think about it

Actually got a car back from the dealer with a strange bulge on the driver’s side of the hood. Got a nice screwdriver and a tap set that had been left sitting there when the hood was closed.

Screaming Pocket Monster? It’s a POKEMON! YAAY! Gotta catch ‘em all!

Or, you could just ignore anything from the New York Post

How many people can the planet hold? All of them!

Works well enough for me - I usually keep a few anti-anxiety meds handy, but I also have a stash of weed ready to go, and a few bottles of my favorite spirits. If it’s really big blow-out, I keep some cash for strippers and party favors.

but it’s not entertainment

President Trump. Scariest thought I’ll have all day...wait...President Cruz!

Never forget these are apex predators and expert stalkers. Seeing the attack coming and getting the chance to fight constitutes good fortune.

We know how to fix broken bones. That’s medicine and the scientific method - examine, diagnose, treat, monitor.