Willing to shell out $1500 for a date but doesn't have $400 to pay the electricity bill. Wherefore art thou budgeting skills, Romeo?

Because lies. Because angry feminists.

I was fired from my job due to lies and my exercise of freedom of speech.

I've started calling it "freeze peach" when people misinterpret it like that.

I get really annoyed when people misuse freedom of speech claims.

Then he just sat back and waited for the hot crotch to roll in.

As someone who travels around a lot I find it's the USA that has the weirdest attitude towards sex, [ahem]

I've always been a fan of Sarah Silverman until this show and the joke that a person who is mixed race half black and half jewish is someone who should be pitied.

What I find so amazing is the way that McInnes talks about the pains of being an alpha male, in a way that makes it sound like he'd rather not do it, and then says, "But ladies are miserable having to fulfill these roles!"

otherwise, how would we ever know? we can hardly be expected to sort it out for ourselves, what with our delicate, overworked ladybrains and all.

Thank goodness he told me how I was feeling.

Gay, straight, bi, asexual, etc. don't we all just want to be as happy as the older couple in the Swiffer commercial? Whether alone, married, in a committed relationship or surrounded by 100 cats, that's the kind of giddy joy I aim for.

Featuring some of your favorite flavors, including:

He's wrong.

Girl Scout cookies do not turn people into lesbians.

Girl Scout cookies turn people into diabetic lesbians.

It's been proven. Duh.

HAIL SATAN AND HIS BOUNTY OF LESBIAN COOKIES.

I'm just dyyyyying to know what his vision of a girl-focused youth club promoting "biblical womanhood" looks like. I'm sure it requires BAKING cookies instead of selling cookies...because that's a woman's place, right?

YES!!! Great plan, fundy whack-jobs! Buy the cookies, and then scribble out all the GSA references on the boxes! BRILLIANT. Buy them ALL!! Seriously.

Or just never have them?
Nothing to sag! My bff in college was a marathoner. She's almost 40 and no sag gage.

The secret to never being sad about your boobs getting saggy: never have perky boobs to begin with! Start out puberty at 10 with boobs that look like they belong to a 47 year old Italian peasant wet nurse! It really doesn't matter what happens to you on this journey of life—weight gain, weight loss, nursing, age,…