I’m a little disappointed that my colleague isn't on here, who got a large piece of chicken bone stuck in his throat from his arroz con pollo, and on his way to the ER, got stuck in the elevator for over 2 hours.
EastCoastCaliGirl
eastcoastcaligirl
Missed the one recently of a woman shoplifting by shoving some dough (cooking dough) in her hoohoo, and it exploded.. How did we ever manage to suceed as a species?
Million to one shot, doc!
I ordered everyone’s presents from Amazon and have been anxiously awaiting their arrival that was guaranteed 3 days ago. Apparently the order never went through regardless of my confirmation numbers. So nobody is getting presents tomorrow. They miiight arrive before the 30th, but it doesn’t really matter at that…
I played an enormous prank on my significant other, many years ago on Christmas Eve. I asked her to marry me. She got me back good, too. She said yes.
My ex-roommates, who are basically my BFFs, are coming by in an hour or so to have Roomie Christmas (which we still call it even though I moved out). We will smoke a big FATASS blunt, exchange gifts, and maybe watch James May’s Toy Stories while gorging on a stupid huge amount of snacks I bought for some reason.
I am also someone who over values holidays but I also have a very large farm of over a 130 acres with about 800 surrounding farm land. Let me know if you need a place to hide a body. *Allegedly*
I think it’s probably a bit stressful, but it’s just us and the kids in our house so it’s not a high stress situation. He was banned from playing WOW twice before- the first time by his mom when he stopped showering or going to work and played WOW in her house for over a year. The second was a few years back, when he…
We always have mac and cheese, Swedish meatballs, and various meats, cheeses, fishy things (my husband’s pickled herring), non-fishy pickled things, veggies and dips, and crap like that. Tonight. Tomorrow is the turkey dinner and Christmas pudding with my overly emotional father.
I am being a pissypants grudge holder. I’m the one who wrapped all the presents, filled all the stockings (my own, too) and then my husband, who I am going to kill in his sleep, decided to let the kids open the stockings this morning when I wasn’t even in the goddamn room. He was playing WOW and decided letting the…
Just got back from the company Christmas party. Involved barbecue, Dirty Santa, wine, Cards Against Humanity, and a contact high.
My relatives are in town from Luxembourg. My 12 year old cousin, spawned from Lucifer’s left testicle, has been calling me Sasquatch since I arrived, and bullying my heavy set niece and nephew. I bought a Darth Vader PlayStation. Emptied the box, filled it with charcoal, wrapped it, and signed his name to it. The…
I am flying 100% solo tonight. Just me and a pizza.
Our annual Christmas Eve family holiday Hell was canceled this morning due to illness on one branch and I’m beyond thrilled. I feel bad they’re sick, but now my immediate family is just going to order pizza, drink beer, open a few gifts and chill. Every year I hope it will get canceled, and finally my wish has been…
Have you ever read Sideways Stories from Wayside school? By Louis Sachar. I loved that at that age, it’s about a wacky school and I’m pretty sure each chapter is a different kid’s story, so it doesn't feel like a lengthy novel to tackle.
My older children are apparently having a difficult time remembering that their younger sister is still a child. The oldest has moved back to my house and that is causing tension on many, many fronts but the worst of it is when he thinks he can co-parent in any way, shape of fashion. My middle daughter is being a bit…
NO AND IT IS FABULOUS
Internet won shut it down