Seriously, I have a former friend who lived in fucking West Virginia and he STILL emphasized that shit in his texts. Motherfucker, you weren’t even suburban Pittsburgh. Why do you want to sound like a dumbass?!

Did people really beat off Real Sex and Taxicab confessions. I mean they had nudity but, to me, it was never really great material for self pleasure

Real Sex was one of the strangest programs ever made. HBO plainly viewed it as porn and treated it as such but it was some of the least arousing shit on TV. Episodes generally consisted of swingers with bad 90s haircuts talking about their feelings and shit and very little of it involved visible sex between attractive…

Why do so many people still have a hard-on for Josh McDaniels? He should be the weekend manager of a Kohl’s department store by now.

The Big Lead: It Still Exists, Apparently™

I would assume they’re referring more to the fact that he didn’t win the job out of training camp, but showed out quite well in the games before the injury, which is not a set of circumstances that lends itself to easy historical comparisons.

Agreed. Paying for sports coverage is like paying for porn or paying for cable. You’re either into really weird shit or older than 50 and “have always done it this way.”

I can’t believe you left out the most important part of his bio: The time Wylie successfully sued The Beatles for identity theft over their song “I Am the Walrus”

DREW OLD FRIEND I’VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. AND A NOT INSIGNIFICANT PART OF THAT HAPPINESS IS ATTRIBUTABLE TO THE FACT THAT AFTER DECADES OF FUTILE FANDOM I JUST DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE LIONS ANYMORE

Anthony Bourdain said it was the best pizza he's ever had. There's no proof of this, but trust me that's what happened.

I called this when Best Buy canceled their GCU Program. I knew Amazon’s days were numbered with how long they’d offer 20% off. My reasoning was that since they had no competition with offering that that they had no reason to keep it going.

I called this when Best Buy canceled their GCU Program. I knew Amazon’s days were numbered with how long they’d…

When I came home from my second deployment, I got a rehab assignment to work with the MD guard recruiters. My job was to take the hmmwv to the stadium on sudays, park it in lot O, and set up small games for kids to play. This was stupid for a number of reasons, the main one being very few people are dumb enough to…

I was driving into Baltimore on a work trip last year and in the distance saw an attractive man on a huge billboard advertising something or other. I hadn’t pulled one out on the road in awhile so I started to get to it through my jeans. As I got closer, all the fantasies ran through my mind, with beard, with…

JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST WE SIGNED RGIII. We won’t sign Kaep because we’re afraid it’ll cause a media circus but we sign a fucking quarterback that hasn’t played in two seasons.

Can you be chained to it when it goes under?

He (somehow) looks like every blogger at Jalopnik. 

Has Deadspin talked about Greg Howard’s toxicity?

I don’t know the entire plan, but I know it ends with a gift basket.

Not that I disagree with the fact this team is bullshit and Vontaze is a psychopath but I do find it just a taaad ironic you Steelers fansclutch your pearls at our goonery when in reality the last three major defensive rule changes (that I can name off the top of my head at least) all involve Steelers injuring Bengals…