Sing us a song, you’re the Shianoman

TEMPE-Asked waiter at BW3: “God, did you hear about Greg Schiano?”

Guess he must have seen something in the game tape.

“Oh, this random 6’ 7” guy will probably have some opinions about scaffolding.” - Reporter

i really hope the cameraman and reporter didn’t know who Klay Thompson was and had to ask for his name

I also take lots of artistic liberties in describing my girlfriend, mainly because I don’t have a girlfriend

my boyfriend would like you to know that i took artistic liberties with my portrayal of him here

Big cats are best cats.

“You crashed your jet ski into a manatee?”

If the Pies and the Handjobs don’t go 1-2 in some order I demand a recount

“Hey John- Why the long face?”

Elway clearly needs to institute a policy of mandatory apples and sugar cubes when players perform well, that should take care of it.

Always good to see Penn State Delco, the Harvard of Baltimore Pike, get a Deadspin shoutout.

God, I haven’t seen such an obvious excuse to go out of one’s way to casual note one’s Ivy League heritage since I was at Yale.

Asked to explain his 1st interception, Peterman said: “Then, in the distance, I heard the bulls. I began running as fast as I could. Fortunately, I was wearing my Italian cap toe oxfords. Sophisticated yet different; nothing to make a huge fuss about. Rich dark brown calfskin leather. Matching leather vent. Men’s…

This feels like a metaphor for something but I can’t quite place it....

I am waiting to see his response to the Dallas Cowboys who sat for the second half last night.

Word on the street is that Mueller is beginning to investigate the President himself for interfering with an ongoing investigation. These recent national anthem and LaVar Ball tweets are the political equivalent of a misdirection play with Nathan Peterman under center.

I’m sure they’ll provide warm blankets for anyone that thinks this was a cold gesture.