Depends on whether the island is deserted or a desert, I reckon.

You made me laugh, so even though you're making fun of me, you get an upvote. I'm diplomatic as fuck.

No one wrote an article about my mispronouncing Mahalia Jackson's first name on the show. It's almost like 2Pac is more famous or something.

Last month I came out to my parents as a rando. My mom was like "Oh, honey. We've always known."

I do. Just not the geek shit.

I was born in 1985. The Phantom Menace is the only Star Wars film I've seen all the way through, and only because my geek cousins dragged me to it. I tried to watch A New Hope last year but couldn't get past the first hour.

http://avclub.com/tvclub/se…

https://youtu.be/8ABOvMgRIPI

I'm a vegan who loves gluten. I will cut a bitch who gets between me and my gluten.

Nonvegan prison food, obviously.

Jesus Christ.

Here's how bad it's gotten: I recently saw the sympathetic Facebook comment "(((hugs)))" and for a split second thought, "Wait, hugs are Jewish?"

This is one of my favorite comments in the history of comments.

I learned the states (albeit not the capitals) from Ray Charles's (not that Ray Charles) "Fifty Nifty."

http://avclub.com/tvclub/se…

Getting a pawshake offer from a smiling Samoyed tied up in front of a Chipotle was the best thing to happen to me last year.

Maris Crane.

I read the headline as "…Venmo movie" and wasn't even surprised they were making one, 2017 being 2017.

I found my dad's copy of Nicholson Baker's Vox. Does that count?

Have we considered the possibility that he thinks Candyman is a documentary?