All of these headlines will pale in comparison in (checks on gestation period of a cow) 9 and a half months when it’s revealed the owner’s decided to make up their supply with their own, um, essence, and unholy cow-human hybrids start showing up all over Australia.

Never mind that? That’s exactly why he and Tessa are quitting their duo. You know the conversation went something like this:

+1 racist Fox News rant

I’ve heard of rolling snake eyes and spilling salt, but spilling snake eyes? These Friday the 13th suspicions are getting out of hand.

Taxes, fixed. HaHa! That’s a good one!

Serious question. What is the point of that conversion? I mean, you can’t haul more weight than the frame/transmission are originally rated for so it doesn’t increase your towing capability. And as far as grip, well it may help you out in a flat muddy field, but it’s not the kind of setup you want to take off-road…

Maybe this sticks out to me because I’ve had it happen twice to me after only living in my city for 3 months. Of course, this would qualify as a dick move in any city, but maybe the lack of fear of a taxi side-swiping you or someone pulling out a gun in a fit of road rage allows this thing to happen.

There’s been only once when I left a bad tip, back when I was in college. I went to a buffet with a friend. Of course, at a buffet, the server pretty much has 2 jobs: bring your drinks and add up your bill. And when we went, they weren’t crazy busy. And yet, whenever we needed a refill, there wasn’t a soul to be seen.…

Quqco needs to understand that Twitch is looking out for the children here. Her clothing is obscene and should have never been seen by anyone watching her Twitch channel.

Question #1 on the draft for the application is:

Hey Titans fans, you loved flaming hot chicken so get ready for the next logical step: Hot Flaming Cart!

David’s recent Google searches:

Doesn’t that happen to like half the players anyway?

Man Jerry, you have it so rough. I mean those pesky players want to take more and more of your profit. It’s almost like they feel like they are the reason the money is coming in and not you. But Jerry, we know the only reason cowboys fans by the merch and go to games and watch on TV is because of you. They all love to…

This game was a battle between the stereotypes of two teams.

Well, in his defense, “the glass” at a hockey game can usually withstand a puck going 90 MPH. That window collapsed like a soccer player being breathed on.

Obviously the best salsa is made in Hoboken!

Wait, why didn’t he perform the surgery at the world class Liberty Medical Center? Oh wait, of the 2 universities in Virginia that have world class medical centers, neither is part of Liberty!

“Oh man, what’s with this road full of chicken parts? You know, I really shouldn’t drive over them because it will make more of a mess on the street and the delivery van will need to be cleaned, but hey, I don’t live on this street and it’s not my job to clean the roads and this isn’t my van and I do need to get back…

We didn’t listen!