I’m guessing when he started panicking (after mashing the “brake” even harder) he swerved to avoid running into the front door and instead ran into the pool door.

Most body guards: “My job is the whisk (celebrity) away if anyone starts something.”

“Fucking amateur”

Congratulations Ohio State, you now officially come off as more pretentious than Harvard, Yale, Notre Dame, and Stanford all rolled together. Why does anyone want their school to be know as “The” Ohio State University anyway? Yeah, I went to school in a state that pretends it is some cultural hub despite being in the…

You can’t trademark common words, but you could trademark stylized words (similar to how NASCAR teams trademark stylized numbers). Of course, it looks they picked a pretty standard font to trademark, so it’s almost like trying to trademark the word itself.

“You say you have an idea to hype this exciting new season?”

10 years old, but still so perfect to accompany this article

What I see:

Who the hell is selling bleach as a snake oil? Geez, just sell sparkling water or sugar water. That way you take their money AND you won’t be at risk of being jailed for life for killing someone.

Rather than try to make the salt and pepper shakers cute and homey, why not do that with the condiment holder instead? You can get things like Easter baskets, blue speckled pots, vintage tupperware, etc. It’ll hide the food service look shakers and ketchup bottle, while still adding flair to the table. And it would be…

A spin on that classic is to place a napkin over the top of an open shaker, shake some of the other shaker’s contents on the napkin, screw the cap back on, then remove any evidence of the napkin. The next person to use it will get the exact opposite of what they expected.

Considering how many times I’ve seen people grab the salt shaker and pour loads of salt on already salty fries, I’m gonna say seasoning is in the tongue of the be-taster. See also: people who order steak well-done.

Man, talk about butt hurt. I know the staff was rude, but did you have to extend it to the food? Oh, it was at a BK, never mind, that’s just an obvious truth.

There is a certain appeal behind watching a sport where the whole point is to beat someone as if you are trying to injure or even kill them.

I would be inclined to say Brown needs to accept the NFL is looking out for his safety and the safety of those he might collide with on the field, and are definitely not looking out for the finances of the helmet manufacturers giving them kickbacks...

They are still going to make money (or at least are reasonably assured they will). Think about it:

As a millennial, I like this ad campaign about a million times better than “dilly dilly”. In fact, AB’s marketing advertising their Busch brand has actually been pretty good lately (see below). Still won’t cause me to pick up a pack of Busch instead of something better.

If there is anyone who could possibly challenge Chick-Fil-A for the title of best chicken sandwich, it’s Popeye’s. The burger joints like Wendy’s and McDonald’s have tried (ugh), other chicken chain KFC gave it a go and even “doubled down” by offering a chicken bun version (gag). But Popeye’s actually has some damn…

Yeah, but they still won’t have waffle fries. Although the dirty rice is a pretty good substitution.