my first thought after I read ther entire thing: why the fuck did I just read the entire thing?

Proud Parent with Pole in Pooper Pleads for Distracted Driving Prevention.

But did he donate?

Charlie and the Glass Elevator is a whole lot of weird.

I found someone with hearts on her shoes and my day is still shitty. What now, Brit?

What?

Now?

Last word.

Sorry. What's that? I can't hear your negativity over the sound of my zen from kayaking. Can you try to snark a little louder?

Counter-point: summer was great. We bought kayaks and didn't watch the news.

An Uzi? Is this 1983? Are we teaching kids how to shoot Tommy Guns now too?

I will support whatever cause gets me the most hits/likes/stars.

Sorry, IBS got pizza this year.

Most of my friends are black . . . on Facebook.

Ugh . . . excuse me? There is a hare in my Snake Soup.

"Nick, what first attracted you to me?"

"It was your beautiful smile, Shania."

Google it. Can't post pics here.

The first detail they need to work out is what kind of cover-up will Nick do on the giant "Mariah" tatoo on his back.

The first detail they need to work out is what kind of cover-up will Nick do on the giant "Mariah" tatoo on his back.

If only I hadn't received so many participatory trophies, I could have come to avoid all the giant shit storms that erupted in my adult live. I blame my parents and Obama.

Brng bck dsmvwlings.

But nothing about the appalling working conditions of children chimney sweeps?