Tough draw for Arsenal.

[takes a hit of meth]

Well starting fresh in Vegas does have a history of working!  

The Raiders ponied up a ton of money to move to Vegas, pay a man 100 million dollars who last coached when George W Bush was in the White House, and won’t budge to pay the best defensive player in the AFC who is entering his physical prime? Are we sure Al Davis is dead?? 

Bill Welke referred you to the rulebook. The rulebook is correct, not the announcers.

They drafted a running back named after the O.J. judge.

But saying “I’m just doing this because I’m a sleazy grifter” doesn’t get the kidz to smash that like button!

Your argument makes total sense in a world where the players’ contracts are guaranteed.

Keith Hernandez: “This is quite possibly the worst era in Mets history.”

DJ DURKIN...WE THE BEST FOOTBALL... MAJOR CRIMES...FATHER OF A TOXIC SPORTING CULTURE... ANOTHER 1-9 SEASON

Always icing truthers. 

[Transports back to mid-2000s]: He got JACKED UP!

Of course he’s going to deny it publicly. If the CIA finds out you’ve purged the nanites, they black helicopter your ass straight to Gitmo.

But what of scrappy white guy gym floor slappin’?  

It is wonderful to not care any more. People are still surprised when I tell them I don’t watch football; but they never believe how easy it was to do. The NFL has made it so EASY to not care about them anymore if you have even just a tiny shred of humanity and empathy left in you.

I love that the recurring theme in many of these testimonials is “I’m so glad I don’t have to give a shit about this team anymore.” It truly is a relief to not have to give any semblance of a flying fuck about the Chargers anymore. 

It wouldn’t have surprised me if Drew had simply forgotten to do one of these for the Chargers. Would anybody have noticed?

I get better vibes walking past Sharon Tate’s old house.