Somebody better bean Jurickson Profar in the fucking head in his next at-bat.  That’s how it works, right? 

He was triple out. Forced, tagged, left the baseline. Only thing left is to be on the cover of Out magazine next month.

Waiter: Would you like some pepper, Mr. West?

To be fair, all women named Kylee are pale as ghosts.

Gone too soon . . .

I guess he didn't see the "submissions are closed" note at the end of the Bengals' WYTS.

“Let’s take an event that is barely noticable to non-super-fans of tennis and turn it into a concentrated week that will actually get coverage” is one of the few good sports decisions in the year of our Lord 2018.

Remember when Musk was going to help Flint get clean water? And then couldn't turn it into self promotion and never talked about it again?

Well, Dodger stadium is 56,000 seats, times 81 home games a year, times two trips. That’s $9,072,000 a season. Which would mean it’d only need to be the sole purpose of transportation for every single fan for every single game (assuming sell out crowds), while costing $0 a year to operate or maintain for 100 years to…

Fuck.

The clearest message that I get out of WYTS every year is that attending an NFL game in person is a fucking horrible decision and only idiots do it.

Baltimore: Donnie.

STRIKE!

I think it was completely accidental. Saying Urena hit Acuna on purpose would imply the Marlins had an actual plan in place.

My little sister moved up from Chicago to Milwaukee and actually just got engaged to a Packers fan. He is just about the nicest guy in the world and is more than an overprotective brother could hope for in a brother in-law. He bought her a Rodgers jersey for Christmas last year and I now plan on making a scene at…

Josh Allen is definitely trash. He’s got a strong arm, and uses that strong arm to throw it nowhere near the wide receiver on short routes when they’re open.

He tossed his bat, caught it, and said ‘fuck.’ The whole exchange took, what, maybe four actual seconds? Who gives a shit?

They should be upset that they have such a fucking hall monitor on their team tsk tsking dudes for being annoyed that they hit a foul ball for two fucking seconds.

Soooo we’re all in agreeance the husband was definitely in there jerking off and not taking a dump, right?

DAT’s DE JOKE