“President Roosevelt, it’s a bit ironic you want to end the war by going to war with the Axis powers.”

That’s what you sound like.

There’s a 99% chance it’s just a modified merkin.

I’m no hero. I put my pants on eight legs at a time just like you.

They are:

He’s one of the youngest people in the photo and he looks like he’s old enough to remember that time him and Trump snorted lines off of Jerry Hall’s jazz at 54 back in ‘78.

Nothing in weeks has made me laugh as hard as this delirious monologue. I can’t believe that the entire planet isn’t watching this show with rapt attention.

It wasn’t even as many votes as Romney lost by in 2012.

You would shocked, shocked, at the kind of people who buck their responsibilities to rant about petty shit via Twitter.

They are very, very bad. Whether she was a fit parent at the time is a moot point, you don’t shame someone like that online, especially going as far as posting a pic of their child with the caption “I hate mom”.

Also, there were plenty of theorizing that she was suffering from some type of mental illness and trying to…

Please tell me that Avatar was just an excuse to live his childhood dream of visiting Smurf Village.

People get offended when you call them selfish? You don’t say.

Asshole.

I know! “The Black Widow” what is this 1800's? I’m gonna call her “Granny Kills-a-Lot”.

Yeah, I don’t think you really understand social anxiety.

It’s comorbid with a number of mental and neurological disorders and a lot more complicated than thinking that people “give a hoot about you”. For example, someone on the autism spectrum might have social anxiety because - since socializing doesn’t come as…

Baby’s First Bunuel.

I did. It made me remember that time I saw the Japanese equivalent to a Tijuana bible of Sailor Moon characters in bondage.

That would be a great analogy if Taylor Swift had neo-nazis turning up at her concerts and beating up fans.

There’s a simple reason why Swift hasn’t paid them any attention (outside of cease and desist letters from her legal team) it’s called the Streisand effect.

I think her endgame is to sell books.

The costume designer was Patricia Field, I believe she ran in the same glam/proto-punk circles as the Dolls in the 70's.

When the question is “Does this person deserve to be in the Songwriters Hall of Fame?” I think having the 11th best selling single of all time is justification.

Oooh, sick burn.

Luckily, she’ll have millions of dollars coming in from “All I Want For Christmas Is You” over the next two months to dry her tears with.