He uses Roid Brow

Yeah true but “212" is an absolute fuckin banger

And so what?

Rex is our quarterback

Q predicted this.

Nice try, globetard, it’s flat!

The real woke bros know that Q is controlled opposition.

“...mom (stepmom? Older sister? Teacher???) were relentless.”

My coworker brings scrambled eggs in a ziplock bag to work. No Tupperware. She doesn’t even put the ziplock in a lunch bag or anything. Just straight up walks in carrying a ziplock bag full of eggs.

Raising Arizona

You don’t dig through a guy’s twitter history when he’s working a no hitter.  Veterans will tell you that’s not how you play the game.

They’ve been caught, shark is OK!

No you will listens to podcasts this weekend.

If someone gets seriously injured or killed, maybe that’s just God’s Plan.

It says right in the constitution that you can be impeached for tweets

I’d watch 10-15 minutes of that movie.

The Stars And Stripes Forever is more my style

Kinda kills the joke, though