“We need a drool rag over here! And get me the eye alignment tongs!”

“My girlfriend is a poor-man’s Morena Baccarin”

“Okay in this photo I want you to look like your paralyzed. Imagine Giselle just picked you up out of your wheelchair and set you on the couch before readjusting you... but in like a sexy way.”

Now this is good kinja.

Allow myself to repeat myself. Funny! (wrong, but funny.)

She really seems like she’d have great “crazy eyes”.

you magnificent bastard

“My boyfriend sucks at football”

“My girlfriend’s not funny”