The NFL is like the guy who shows up at the party already hammered and grabs someones girlfriends ass then takes a dump in a potted plant. Then, instead of laying low for a month, goes out again the next weekend.

Probably several at least but I haven’t taken an industry wide poll lately.

And this guy upped the average NFL IQ by .00000000325 .

I only play games in which you gain points by beating up hookers and orphans.

Because the NFL has a long history of hiring Rhodes scholars.

Is there a game called Oregon Trail or something..?

No I was probably playing Half Life or Redneck Rampage or watching porn.

I dont think that ever happens.

Yeah, even if your soft 21st Century ass managed to make it through the malarial, snake and alligator infested hell hole that is the Gulf Coast (Its 105° in Houston right now) to the Texas/Mexico border area you and your Horseless God Carriage would attract the attention of every native within a thousand miles who…

The list of uninvented crap is getting longer...

Well, to be fair it is conceivable that you could park it a few months and construct a primitive ferry at a very narrow point if you had some tools.

And you plan on crossing the Mississippi River how?

“Refrigerate after opening” is just an ass covering measure by Big Syrup in case you die of some unexplainable breakfast related incident.

True, sometimes they do warm it up but it still started out at room temperature.

Nope, when you ask for syrup at a restaurant it always comes out warm.

Theres also no need to refrigerate mustard, ketchup, A1, etc.

Start by making it a Corvette.

“He had put hisself in ‘arms way. Thats what done it right there.”

Lots of people with babies and young kids in that barrierless corner...

“...he was a great guy with a big heart...”