Moments after the shooting I Googled “CHARLIZE THERON NSFW”.

I’d like to do my part and personally deliver it to those Swedish 16 year olds.

“Bathascalabanab, Lord of The Depths, you said there would be no hard questions! I gave you Chelseas little brother!”

I should have been a Dallas plastic surgeon.

“Which is true? The thing we saw, or the granular, artificially enhanced, retroactive display of what actually happened?”

.....And then I asked why, at the most difficult time in my life, there was only one set of footprints in the sand and Xenu said “Because I was counting my gold back scratchers, byatch!”

“I inserted the point of the knife in the skull where it was broken from the iron ... and stirred it around.”

The Tarantino collection on blu ray is $60 on Amazon right now.

Everything about soccer is boring.

But these go to 11.......Its “1” louder, you see.

Still cant beat Original Kale Flakes with beet milk.

Anyone with this haircut is a giant dick.

“Colon: Fantastic, Scrotum: No sag.”

‘Then after that, he had the idea of putting the beer bottle up my a**. So that was done.’