Let me guess....Hes dead the whole time?

“Professor, would you say it’s time for our viewers to crack open each others skulls and feast on the goo inside?”

I wish I had a barn I could move to.

Inception blew.

$200,000?

Turns out the AIDS medicine was just corn chip dust that turned out to be dried bull semen.

True, many people stay dumb.

“....a vagina is actually not a manhole.”

Shes just a confused college student.

Holy fuck that is butt ugly.

To which he replied “IDGAF”.

Its fine if they all look like that one girl in the denim skirt with the big ass cans.

I got another tattoo at 40 after being bounced from my job.

Theres plenty of room in my driveway.

Assless chaps and a beer helmet.

I would have to assume his penis would bear the brunt of any forceful whack jobbing. The hand makes no sense.

$60,000 if the bitch drops the charges.

Whatever, I didnt even know he went to UT.