Potatoes gonna potate!

"Watch out Southwest Airlines. I aint forgot about that time you kicked me off'a that flight from Reno to Dallas for being quote-unquote drunk and playing with myself"

Bond, Bourne and Batman are all the same person now.

LEXI & The Women Who Out-Drive You

Not a thing wrong here.

Fuck off, Mrs. Evans the English teacher.

In the last hour, his eye has been pulled over by Boston cops three times already.

His goatee isn't doing so hot either.

Uh I dont need Captain Science to riddle me this one.

I haven't seen him murder something that bad since he and Razzle decided to go to the liquor store.

Are you having a stroke?

Cliff Chablis

Maybe not.

Drink all you want, youre still gonna wake up in Philly.

This guy is nuts. How would dragging a disembodied head across the ice make it clean?

That's what I was just thinking. I LOVE that hair.

She is way hotter as Trailer Trash Barbie.

The conversation continues, though, and it gets more damning from there:

Haha, yeah fuck that.

"...it's possible that George-Harvan unloaded the gun by accident"