I wish I still had mine.

"You dont fuck with the infinite"

Somehow that does not make me feel any better.

Goddamn, how much does unfunny ass Jay Leno make?

"Call me!"

Every time I forget about this guy somebody has to remind me.

Is there a new titty bar on the moon or something? Why go back?

Yes, I read about these women in the latest edition of Better Whores and Gardens.

If somebody made a movie about my scumbag dad that made him seem kinds cool i'd be pissed too I guess.

What a bunch of bullshit.

OK, thats fucking funny.

"Stop looking at me"

"What did the five fingers say to the plane??"

Sharks have a week about me.

What's all the fuss about?

Goddamn, by the look on her face youd think Gwyneth Paltrows head was in there.

"Requiem For A Dream"

Why? Because she will be furiously tearing my clothes off??

I knew I was on the right track.