If youre a star they let you do it!

If I said “The network is remaking the stupid, black sitcom ‘227'......” Id be publicly crucified but nobody bats an eye when broad, lazy generalizations are made about white people.

Jezebel is one of the few places where its totally fine to be openly racist.

“One’a these days, Alice! Ka-pow! Right in the pussy!”

If youre a star they let you do it.

He will however be jailed for wearing a turtleneck with a sport coat.

I really feel like grabbing him by the lapels shaking him until his cotton candy hair breaks loose from its ozone layer depleting hair spray cement job and giving him a firm backhand across his fat face and screaming “SHUT THE FUCK UP, CRYBABY! GROW A SET AND STOP EMBARRASSING YOURSELF!”

Jesus Christ, I cant believe I have to listen to this baby-dick cry like a little bitch with a skinned knee for the next four years.

Fuck all that.

“I got elbowed in the boob and backpacked in the face”

“I was garbage”

Never promise a bunch of British foreigners cheese.

Not again.

Take that commie shit out to the street.

After drying his eyes Gramps got behind the wheel, turned on the right side blinkers and headed downtown to run over some immigrants.

Yes, because religious nut jobs are always swayed by, you know, science.

“Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, Blac Chyna.......Who are three people who are famous for no good reason and who people should stop talking about.”

“Son, lets stop all the fussin’ and’a feudin’.”

Not particularly, no.

Like a Disney prince.