Uh, he's not wearing any hat....

Lets all give Tom a hand for sharing.

I hate myself but +1

Is Indian a race or a nationality? Whatever im not a racist.

The man in this crazy ass hat is in control of a nuclear arsenal.

Mary J Blige has not aged well.

Can you swing a pillowcase full of door knobs?

Yeah, fuck her.

Maybe its just ugly...?

Its going to be a nice night for margaritas on the deck of this little place off North Main.

"Was your father a GI??"

Sure, bring some Slim Jims.

My bible is signed by Evel Knievil.

I live in Houston so not much chance of a blizzard but my hurricane survival kit consists of:
Shiner Bock (two cases)

Is this the longest investigation in NFL history?

"Weird. The NFL gave me a pass, no problem"

Thanks, you didnt have to say that.

Terrifying display of military might.

And the wolves, my God the wolves .

Its as if 2,338 virgins all cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.