On a scale of 1 to Bill O'Reilly, how butthurt were you when you wrote this article?

"This movie is stupid and gross..."

Jezebel has a bad habit of posting idiotic articles. This one is better than "Is Beyonce the Princess of Thailand?" Or "This map of every goat in America is the most important map ever!" These writers should be embarrassed.

I have no dog in this fight nor any interest in defending cheesy war porn, but what the hell was this post even?

Yeah, im sure replacing your transmission is really awesome.

Why the fuck would anyone abuse their vehicle like that unless somebody was dying?

I guess Russell Wilson wasn't the only person who didn't realize that someone in a Marshawn Lynch jersey was right behind them.

All thanks to Volvo's Lead Test Engineer.

I'd probably jump out of the car midair.

... with a giant pepperoni on the side, of course.

Being creepy is really an art form that takes years of practice (ie. repelling women) to master. Few people have got a woman to show them their vagina on a public bus, for a slice of pizza. I have done this. She also shouted look at the batcave. I am not making this up.

Seeing as I can't actually use Tinder, I should totally just make a Gob Bluth account.

I like to offer a piggyback ride to makeout mountain.

I see what you did there...funny...

True, but you didnt answer the question...

Also bad!

Wanna ride to Boner Town on the Sausage Express?

Newbury Elementary is closed??

Also, make sure to utilize wheels, they are often overlooked as good attachment points.