Check me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key.

Never heard of it.

I enjoy a good laugh but humor at the expense of children is beyond the pale.

"We're finally on our own." —Bitsko's roommates.

Ferrari imbues you with magic.... which yes, is included in the sticker price.

it feels your swagger as you approach

WHERES THE DOOR HANDLE? HOW DO YOU OPEN IT?

I would totally watch that episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians!

The thought of them and their children being devoured by killer mold makes me happy.

"As the smartest, you're probably the leader,"

Yeah, many BMW drivers make you want to do just that..

Photo of an angry Col Nathan Jessup (played by Jack Nicholson) in the movie A few Good Men, telling Lt Kaffee (played by Tom Cruise)"You friggin' people. You have no idea how to format a video" but the sidebars crop most of the image and text out.

One thing I recently learned about Kylie Jenner is that she's actually just an old zoot suit filled with semi-intelligent hornets.

That's one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. Bravo.

Good to know. And yes, I'll be going with rollerblade.

No, its a straight up mom deal across the board.

MOM: "Rob, why are you wearing one Rollerblade?"

Your question should have been, "One rollerblade for the rest of your life, or knowledge that you fucked your mom for the rest of your life?"

Rollerblade. It's probably faster than driving in traffic anyway.

You were creepy as a teen. You were a creepy teenager.