How many tennis balls can you fit in your mouth?

My Tacoma was returned to me with a big ass brown paint smear on the rear passenger side panel like the guy scraped a parking barrier.

How many dead hookers can fit in the trunk?

Just git r dun.

You are President of Being Awesome.

Thats going on the list.

Good man.

The list of acceptable activities while driving is short:
Smoking

Thats a bike, not a car.

There should be a list of colleges where one is least likely to be prosecuted for rape.

I know ill die before jet packs become available to consumers.

Are there titties in it or not, dude?

Shes moving a little fast.

Think ill motor down there and open a Viagra stand.

Good thing nobody gives a shit.

...

“There’s nothing in life more important than our children,”

She always looks chunky to me.

I simply say love is strange.

“PONCE!”