Good work.

Try to simulate me not puking my guts out.

"Don't you know who I am?!"

She got 99 problems but a rich ass dad aint one.

Holocaust

Rich white women are finally getting a shot.

Sometimes a kids gotta take a Mars bar to the cornea for cool shit like this to happen.

So does this fuckin' thing suck or what?

"The Arizona National Guard does not authorize nor condone the use of military aircraft or equipment for personal use."

I'm guessing this dude has not managed his money situation in a Warren Buffet like way over the years.

Every Sunday I make my famous Stalinachos.

He would have gotten less time for raping Paris Hilton.

The only way I would ever purchase her CD would be if it included pics of her and that model who looks just like her going to town on each other.

He has a point.

This is dumb.

"I'm your new [insert N-word here]!"

If by "cooler" you mean foisting awful shit pop on the rest of us older people with good taste in music then, yeah, that is accurate.

Next: "Rushmore" in the style of "Fatal Attraction".

Did the Marlins guy find the ring?

Settle down, Azrael Abyss.