As a former Buccaneer having traveled the seven seas, one would think that Sapp should be well versed in deciding which maidens are of virtue pure and true, and which resplendent damsels are actually fucking vice cops.

You know...it seems incredibly fitting that this is the way the 2014 NFL season ends.

It's the "Chuck C. Johnson".

"He'll be fine."

Wow, in that close up, he looks like Bill Belichick's fat older brother.

He looks like James Gandolfini right before his fatal heart attack...bloated, sweaty, and in desperate search of trying to suffocate Tom Jackson after their car accident.

First league investigation of improperly deflated balls that didn't involve PED use.

Yup, me too. Not helping put one red cent in the misogynistic, abusive asshole's pocket.

I love that idiot.

once told by a trainer not to drink electroylyte-balancing liquids prescribed by the show's doctor because it would "ruin her one last chance to save her life.

they might be in trouble if the patriots win too. Some sort of mobius strip of dick sucking.

2 more fucking weeks of the media sucking Wilson and Seattle's dick. FML.

This show has it right now and Cookie is stealing every scene Lange style.

Good for him. But he gotta keep Obama's name outta his characters' mouths.

Exactly. If he wanted to, Paterno could have easily said to the president and cops "Have you started to investigate Jerry Sandusky? No? Okay then, I'm going to kick Sandusky out of his office, tell him to stay the hell away from my players. Then I'm going to the media and tell them about him and you can either join me…

Good point. I do think Joe Paterno's age finally failed him on this one. He handled the situation like a good, old school Catholic. That's an observation, not a defense.

The NCAA also announced that they would be sending character witnesses to support Sandusky at any parole hearings he might have.

Here's the thing that all the Paterno corpse fellaters fail to appreciate: Paterno could have ended this whole thing with one phone call. No, not to the cops or the school administration; to the media. You want justice in this country while maintaining your reputation? You call a fucking journalist and tell them…

I always despised "Joe Pa" and his bogus "big man on campus" schtick, with the cutesy little house within walking distance from the field and the whole bullshit cult thing. Paterno was a mentally disturbed weirdo too cowardly to ever press himself beyond PSU. Watching him dodder around for the last ten years of his…

The decision to vacate the wins was nearly two and a half years old, so it comes as no surprise that Penn State completely fucked it.