Wish I could!

His performance in Magnolia was a revelation. However, any man who is as devoted to and can’t see that Scientology is a scam is a complete and utter moron.

Cruise is a known moron.

Given the increased size of the former poster boy for GOP weight loss, I’d say Huckabee was a better shot with fried chickens.

Greer is not wrong on Jenner. Caitlyn Jenner is a yet another of Kris Jenner’s creations. Kris Jenner is like Dr. Moreau, only with better publicists.

I feel for the guy. Not only did he come into the RI State House after the previous idiot gave Curt Schilling all those millions they’ll never get back, he also looks like Steve Doocy.

What the fuck is up with Luke Skywalker? I mean, come on, JJ. Sheesh. A little something, you know, for the effort?

You can have the frothing at the mouth insanity of Clare Danes, Melissa McBride is the best actress on television today. Period. She takes a character that other, less capable actresses could have made a wooden cliche out of, but not McBride. She and Carrie Coon of The Leftovers are both pleasures to watch.

And can you think of a family more deserving of trashing than the Kardashians? Their entire existence is due to a bad sex tape that they disown like crazy but still make money from allegedly. Odom is just another poor schmuck who didn’t have the emotional foundation to be part of Kris Jenner’s little empire of…

Good piece. I prefer Breitbart’s analysis though. They say when Hillary gets elected she’ll make Huma the Viceroy of New York City when Sharia law is enacted and they move all of the country’s Jews to Manhattan. It will be like Escape from New York, only schmaltzier.

Tom Brady could star in the American remake of A Serbian Film and the lahge Dunkie’s regalah drinking chowdaheads around heah would still kiss his ass.

Or you can just hire Kris Jenner.

I love how this scumbag’s Twitter feed is nothing but retweets of other scumbags kissing his ass.

Who will defend this poor woman’s religious freedoms with a check or money order made out to Mike Huckabee for President? Seconds count!

But the end users love Uber! Except when Uber is trying to use their ends.

I believe the last one. When Red Auerbach was still alive and the Celts were winning big, he would have the girls in the office sign balls for charity auctions. I once saw Aerosmith’s security guy doing the same thing.

Very tender comment from a man who is so good at killing people.

Is there a GoFundMe for cigarettes?

Thank you for both your service and your sick sense of humor.

You’re arguing the merits of a sexual predator and I’m the one who is dense?