YEAH BUT LOOK, LOOK AT THE FUNNY JACKET! THAT’S THE REAL STORY! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Eh, it’s not the worst thing.

I'm actually the ghost of King Leopold II.

It’s true; I wake up every morning and wallow in a pit of guilt and remorse over things my country’s government did decades before I or my parents were even born.

Everyone one was jumping on the Jason Momoa train after he played Khal Drogo, but where were you when he was on Stargate Atlantis? Huh? Where were you?

Where have you been for the last three years?

Here’s a tip: when next distracted by that insidious optimism, simply think, ‘What’s the worst political outcome?’ 
Then relax safe in the knowledge that that’s exactly what will happen.

Shelter Cat Update!

You mean the one where they stand right behind you and they try to get you to turn around so that your face is right next to their junk or ‘hit and run’, where they jump out at you in the hallway? There were a few that were popular during my time.

When I visited the UK, there were multiple variations of testicle games including “sprouts out” and “sat in gum.”

Went to an all boys high school, can confirm this (and other even weirder masturbatory games). 

Boys are gross

When I was at school there was this game the boys played (so they claimed) called soggy biscuit: they would surround a biscuit (or cookie/cracker as you Americans call them) and jerk off. The last person to finish would be the loser and would have to eat the eponymous soggy biscuit.

You’re not an intelligent person and nobody values anything you have to say.