Because the NSA only uses data for IMPORTANT things, like defending 'Murica from them tourists and those pot-smokin' liberals!

Seriously. I see absolutely no reason for anyone to even mention what she did for a living because it should have absolutely no bearing on what happened to her.

The press needs to stop calling this a beating or an attack. It's attempted murder and sexual assault. The woman was forced to watch her friend get beaten, then she got beaten, stabbed, sexually assaulted, threatened with further rape, tortured, and the only reason she's alive is because he decided to go look for a…

That and cameras are most definitely banned within the Mutter Museum.

Yep. 50 Shades was originally about an adult vampire and a high school girl. It's amazing how the mainstream media is so willing to overlook that portion of the stories origins. Because it's truly horrifying.

"There really isn't much to know about me. I mean, look at me."

This line killed me.

Fifty Shades started off as a very long Twilight fanfic and then the author switched the names :(

She's like bella swan with a fringe

I would find it more worthwhile for CNBC to interview a cashier at KFC about how she balances her work and home commitments.

Ok, calling her a whore wasn't the best thing.

Kim Kardashian is not a promotional model. In fact, no one would be more offended by that characterization of her job than Kim.

That may be savvy, but it's not actual work.

And when she comes home from a day at "work," she doesn't have to rush to daycare or risk being charged overtime, or stop at the grocery store, cook dinner, clean it up, get the laundry done, give the kid a bath and read stories, and try and balance the checkbook before falling into bed. Rinse repeat.

I wish there was a show like "Wife Swap," but it was called "Life Swap," and Kim Kardashian had to work the real job of an actual poor person for a full year. And then at the end of it she was told that absolutely no cameras were rolling.

I've thought about asking for a pre-nup from my future spouse that I've not even met yet. There's a few posts saying that if you trust your betrothed or have screened them properly than the Social Media clause (or any pre-nup) isn't necessary.

I have a pre-prenup. I call it "standards."

I humbly submit that if your mascara is better than your sex, you really are doing the sex part wrong.

yeah, okay, this is perfection and huffpo needs to recognize:

Clearly, she is secretly a lesbian because no one is allowed to have a successful career & family. But it also sounds like she has a fabulous closet to hang out in.

It was so funny, it makes you forget Obama's "fuck 'em all" deportation record and his hard-on for drone strikes on innocent wedding parties.