They go hand in hand, really. I’m much more willing to overlook someone’s bullshit when the memory of the last time they gave me multiple orgasms is still very fresh in my mind.

All it needs is a ghostly version of him in the top right corner, staring at the bigger him.

Probably the same ones that use selfie sticks to shove their phone into lion’s faces.

Who are these people who throw trash on the ground? I would never throw trash on the ground. Never.

Hooray, an excuse to post kitty pictures!

It could be worse. It could be a neck tattoo of Hilary Duff’s face. Think about that and then say 10 hail mary’s.

His worst quality is that he tends to be a perfectionist.

Now that you say it, I really would not be shocked if this was a grand experiment by either James Franco or Joaquin Phoenix.

I couldn’t read the entire article, I think I have ADHD.

Did I just read that correctly? He was explaining to a random stranger on a bus about his failed attempts to make molds of his own anus, and instead of getting up to find a different seat, that person VOLUNTEERED their anus for molding?

What the fuck did I just read?

I feel like it would be very Rick and Morty.

I’m mostly just jealous of that baby. His family seems awesome, and I can’t remember my grandparents as anything other than being 1000 years old, sitting on their living room sofa, and arguing about whether Milrose on the corner bought the yellow Plymouth in ‘57 or ‘58.

0 people have sung it as well as this guy.

this video is the sum total of the things i care about today

I am an unapologetic GP fan, but OMG they were fucking perfect together. Holy shit.

Speaking of Craigslist ads, this recent one caught headlines:

Candy is now going to tell a new story about the nice lesbian couple they met in New Hampshire, and how she and Ben managed to help you see the error of your ways by taking you out for ice cream and a long chat.