Dude. Precisely.

You’ve said more than enough. Thanks.

Yeah dude. If only MLB could deliver the unmatched thrills of a Texans-Jaguars Thursday night COLOR RUSH game, followed by 6 days of Trent Dilfer chanting the words “the football”, Jon Gruden’s Qb camp, and Mel Kiper’s mock draft 19.0 v.1.0.3.

“A ‘gaffe’ is when a politician tells the truth.”

In my “going onstage” suit, I keep a silver dollar. It never comes out of the suit. Even when I dry clean it.

“Why are strippers more heavily vetted than Uber drivers?”

Can someone remind me why Ortiz gets a free pass on his PED use and his generalized dickishness while Barry Bonds is still viewed as a pariah?

I’m impressed. A lot of people would look at what the Oklahoma State legislators said and meekly resign themselves to not being able say anything stupider or more small minded than that.

You CAN’T believe it? Silicon Valley self-aggrandizing mythmaking has been built on comparably flimsy premises. (See: Theranos)

Key distinction:

It’s important to remember at times like this that tech moguls like Vivek Ranadive are smarter and more #innovative than any of us luddite philistines who still value outdated things like winning.

Closers and bullpens are not the same thing.

Fool, do you even watch baseball? No. Seriously. Do you? Or do you just uncritically swallow, then parrot whatever Ben Lindbergh churns out and mistake your friends eyes glazing over as an indicator of your brilliance?

That was a lot to write to not make any cogent point at all.

You have got to be shitting me.

The only stats that matter: Royals Def. Mets, 4 games to 1.

Can the Deadspin staff and the Jezebel staff just bone and get it over with?

Say! I wonder if big time college football (and the NFL, for that matter)is a full blown corruption machine that infects everything it comes into contact with?

The thing about Broner: Nobody in his age group had more physical gifts or a more credible amateur pedigree than him. And now, he’s entering—ENTERING —his prime years as a complete afterthought because he keeps getting absolutely trounced by people who are simply more serious and dedicated to their craft. It’s a…

“So what?”