Just...eternal LOL...

Your understanding of both baseball and math is based on a flawed assumption: that all baseball offenses are identical. Said another way, you’re saying “My models don’t match reality! Reality must be flawed!"

No. Not necessarily. You could also be employing a offensive strategy that exploits bullpens and weak defenses, while roughly 25-28 other teams employ a strategy of “strike out 14 times a game and occasionally hit 3 run homers.”

That’s hella weird. I was pretty sure that baseball games were 9 innings, even World Series games.

Let’s talk reader to editor for a minute:

Okay, is it mediocrity or, rather, is it fallibility that is revitalizing the division?

This is the one and only NFL offseason story worth giving one iota of a shit about.

Oh wow! NFL coaches posed for a group photo today!!! Really?!? That’s so interesting and relevant totally not insipid.

It’s not that hard. You get MLB’s general counsel on the phone with the general counsel of every franchise to deliver some version of this message:

Dear MLB/Commish Manfred,

The NFL offseason thinks that seasons 4-7 of Lost are “very under appreciated.”

The NFL offseason says “raising awareness” without a hint of irony.

The NFL offseason read Jim Cramer books in like, 2013.

The NFL offseason drinks 64 oz. Big Gulps of Diet Coke because it’s “trying to lose some weight.”

The NFL offseason was an extra on the Simpsons.

The NFL bought investment property in Henderson, NV.

Saying “Highlight of the NFL offseason” is like saying “Refreshing moment of candor from Charles Krauthammer.”

There is no sports-related thing less interesting or consequential than an NFL trade in March. No amount of Adam Schefter declaring “blockbuster” will alter that reality.

Thanks for your informative there opinion, “P Rock.” Isn’t there a Kid Rock concert somewhere that you’re missing?

That’s a reasonable opinion; and reasonable minds cab differ here.