There were things on the list I could Checkov, but I was Russian to work.

I tried driving a Lada, but I didn’t get far. It kept Stalin.

I’m trying to figure out what fake wood paneling on an electric car would look like.

I’m generally reviled for my humor, so I appreciate this

But if you bought one you could call the key your “electric Macan opener”

Good Jalop.  Keep it coming...

I remember the days when driving a Kia meant you have bad credit, so I’ve always ruled them out. But dammit Kia, I’m starting to love your cars. You’re out-cooling the cool kids.

a SHËLBY

Why do people do this? It’s not like the car in front is shooting flames from the tail pipe.

I was eating a bagel and at the next table over was Steve Buscemi. I’m a fan. I continued eating my bagel and never spoke a word to him because I’d rather not be remembered at all than to be remembered for bothering this guy during breakfast.

Japan uses the metric calendar

They’d never had someone buy an Avalon who was younger than 70

I lost my job at the calendar factory after I took a couple of days off.

Maybe David Tracy can get it running again?  

I had a ‘78 Scirocco with bald tires, and the only way out of my work’s parking lot was a big hill in either direction. I left work one snowy day and gunned it to try to make it up the hill to the left (other direction was a narrow, hilly, twisty road...bad choice in the snow). I made it about 3/4ths of the way and…

As a youngster I went with my parents to look at used cars.  “Hey Dad, you should look at this one!” I said pointing to the Celica.  We went home with an AMC Concord.  Nearly 40 years later I’m still pissed.

We visit Quebec nearly every year to see my wife’s family, but we’ve only visited in the winter once. ONCE.  Not by my choice, but my wife’s.  

Try blowing a kiss next time. Seems to really irritate some guys when another guy blows a kiss.

Santa Clause says bad words? :(