Once I was being bullied by some South Jersey knuckle draggers on the schoolbus for still sporting sideburns in 1991 (this was firmly the age of gelled spikes, buzzed sides and rat tails). But then one of the popular girls spoke up for me, claiming they were actually “kinda cute” and likening me to “a little Dylan.” …

I hate to make this about myself, but I’m turning 46 this year and this kind of news just terrifies the fuck out of me.

The handjob was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

Damn, from Super Bowl winning head coach to just another mom’s new boyfriend in like 4 months

As a local taxpayer, he’s not just an irate stepfather. He’s also an owner.

“Wow, a 2012!  That’s only like two... uhh... err... seven years old?  What the fuck?”

Always read the fine print.

“…my car got shot while parked and totaled (long story)…”

The goof about the tranny neither surprises or shocks me. I see much bigger (dumber?) mistakes in all kinds of ads, Amazon and eBay listings and of course the more rednecky stuff on Craigs and the horrible FB marketplace.

I hope that this is an isolated incident, and not something that becomes poutine.

the league forced the Alouettes to cut him, then banned him from the entire CFL

IGC agents were “called to investigate a patron for possibly cheating at a table game.” ... The statement didn’t specify which game Jones was playing.

Cheating at a casino.  What are the odds?

+2 legit

Fun fact: “The Touching is, To Me, Off Limits,” was the original title of MC Hammer’s 1990 breakthrough single. 

Damn it, Kevin. 

Male 8 and Male 13. Darn my rotten luck; my pool numbers were 7 and 3.

Deadspin owes me one $100 bill and one unidentified bill, followed by a hug, for making me aware of how Bob Kraft gets off.

“at least one other unidentifiable bill”

This immediately came to mind. Bad homage is bad.