Christ I want that last line so bad.

WELL... there may be some truth to it. Apparently carbon is good for keeping the digestive system healthy, and a healthy digestive system will show in your skin. Still rather not eat burnt toast, though.

I'm sorry but I'm going to have to nope the crap out of your comment. I have had both a staffordshire bull terrier and a pitbull cross breed (below), and they are the most gentle, wonderful pets. Bull terriers do not deserve their reputation. Aggressive dogs are made aggressive by bad owners and bull terriers were…

how the hell can you have a memoir at 28??!?

they are the actual worst

excellent

she's measuring a sausage, obviously! ^_~"

not a thing worse, I agree

perhaps you need a new secretary haha

100% would bang

that's exactly what I wanted to say.

fking excellent.

Is Kim K on your board just like she's on Beyoncé's?

yes, thank you. I was totally thinking that. Excellent shade (note I know NOTHING about who these people are) but my main thought was 'what kind of mental gymnastics did she go through to see a guy cheating on her and think 'I have to marry him immediately?'"

have you lost your tan? did you ever make it out of that shade?

I'm British, I don't support any football team, but I totally get the significance of your story. Don't feel alone.

I fking love this!

pre-super-plump-pouty lips?

fuck y'all, I love this. She looks amazing!